Tuesday Tea~ A Mother’s Vision

With the graduation party over, it was only natural to reflect on the goals  I've always had in mind as a mother. When a child is about to leave home for the first time, our first thought, as parents is., of course, ."Are they ready?"...

It’s time for Tuesday Tea (albeit a little later than usual), so I hope you have picked out a special cup and a nice new tea to sip this morning. I’m so enjoying my mother’s day flowers and thought I’d share them with you!

      

Just link up here if you would like to share your pretty tea things today. :o) I look forward to visiting you!

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Did you have a lovely Mother’s day? I do hope so. I’ve certainly seen some pretty flowers around bloggy land this week, though I haven’t had much time to visit.

Today was the first day to really slow down and let the events of this last week ‘register’. What a special mother’s day weekend this has been for me. It just happened to coincide with my son’s graduation. I didn’t plan it that way.

To tell you the truth, I had no idea Mother’s day was the same weekend! I had only one thing on my mind…arranging and hosting Jacob’s graduation and party at our home. Mother’s day? What’s that?

Ahh..but what better way could I have asked for  to celebrate Mother’s day, than to rest after a special event like a son’s graduation. To have a wonderful dinner party where the guests have all invested their efforts, their friendship, their love and labor into ‘my’ child..and many others...was such a perfect treat. These guests and their kids, Jacob’s friends, came to ‘send him off’ with their blessings..just as we wanted to do.

Hubby and I had ‘tea’ this morning as we sat  on the deck chatting about how wonderful it is that yet another child is ready to ‘fly the coop’. Funny..he just got his driver’s license yesterday. (We had a lot of delays in driver’s ed. due to last year’s heavy travel schedule.)

We found ourselves chatting about how you know when you are finally ‘finished’ as a parent.  We were also enjoying the quiet that always comes after such a big family event.

I thought you mothers of younger children might be interested to read what our parenting goals for the last 25 years have been. I certainly didn’t want to go into all of this just to ‘brag’.   It’s just that I’ve been reflecting on the peace that fills my heart as yet another child is ‘equipped’ to head out into the world and make a difference. Jacob wants to make the world a better place..and he’s already doing that.

After the graduation dinner, we presented Jacob with his diploma. Dear Hubby read a letter from both of us to Jacob telling him how proud we are of him and that he has not only met but exceeded our expectations for the academic requirements of high school graduation.

But of course, academics, though important, was hardly our only criteria for considering ourselves ‘done’ as parents. Have you, as younger parents considered what your goals as a parent are for your kids? How do you know when you are ‘done’?

Not that we are ever done being parents, but their does come a time when we no longer correct, instruct, or manage our kids, but instead step back and wait to be asked. We let our adult children know that we are always there for them..but from now on, we’ll wait to be asked rather than just throw in our two cents. It’s their turn to ‘drive’.  (Of course, we do do an awful LOT of praying!! LoL!)

Spiritually Strong

For Tim, as a father, the fact that Jacob knows the truth and loves the truth and loves the Lord with all his heart, is the most important thing he could ever hope to see in our childrens' lives.

There is no question that Jacob is spiritually strong.

Tim knows he is ready to face a world that does not always believe in right or wrong..and that he will live according to truth. He knows Jacob will live with an eternal perspective..and not  live only for the moment with all the accompanying consequences as so many young people do.

The words that our closest friends shared with Jacob at this graduation dinner and the challenges they gave him described the very goals that we, as parents, have always cherished all these painstaking years of parenting, training, and educating our kids.

A Hard Worker

Do you realize just how few teens actually WORK at their jobs? Moms…we must teach our kids to work while they are young and to even enjoy it. Feeling the satisfaction of a job well done is something  we want our kids to learn early on.

One friend, who was responsible for the set up and take down of the 300-400 attendee NCFCA Speech and debate tournaments in Houston, spoke of how hard-working and diligent Jacob has been through the years. R. was so impressed with his ‘work ethic’.  Jacob is a hard worker—no doubt about it. All of my kids are. It’s how they get and keep jobs..and get promoted so easily.

Kind and Willing to Serve

Another friend mentioned how invariably KIND Jacob was..towards his brother and sister, his friends, his debate partners, and even the fellow younger debaters who needed help or evidence.  Jacob is a leader and I still find myself amazed.

  I thought it was just in the debate realm. But no..  Within three weeks of starting dual credit college classes, Jacob was meeting kids he didn’t even know before class to help them review for their biology and history tests. He stayed late to help kids in his English class edit their papers.

Academic Skills

Considering how dyslexic he was for most of his life, that still amazes me that he could do that in the first place. He set himself to improve in whatever areas of academic weakness he had. He has taken responsibility for his education for at least the last two years. This means so much to me as a mother! We want to raise life long learners.

 
Theologically Sound and Intelligent

We parents want our children to know what they believe and why they believe it, before they head out into the world, don’t we? I will never worry about our son..or any of our kids for that matter. I may not always agree with them..but I can’t say their opinions are not well thought out and valid. We respect their opinions because they have earned that respect.

One friend, a pastor, described the many lengthy theological and philosophical debates and discussions he and Jacob had had over the years. He had worried, at one time, about the soundness of the ideas that our son came up with. (Jacob thinks WAY outside the box.) Yet now, he said, that he considered our son to have the most well thought out theological position of any one he had ever known.

He really admires Jacob’s intellectual integrity and diligence..

Self-Governing

At some point, we should no longer feel the need to correct our kids. They should be caring enough about their own spiritual and emotional condition and the relationships in their lives..to want to deal with whatever problems of character they see on their own.

This is what I have watched Jacob do. He’s quick to apologize—and careful to examine his own heart after a conflict.  And it fills my heart with joy. I know that he is ready for adult life and graduation.

What was on my heart most, as a mother,  was Jacob’s willingness to look into his own heart,  to identify his personal weaknesses, admit them, and work to change them so as to live as loving and Christ-like a life as he could. Really, this is simply called ‘self-government’.

 
Humble – Valuing Others

None of us have accomplished all that we are and do by ourselves. Nor have our children. Parents, friends, mentors, and teachers all have contributed to our success over the years. If there is anything that our children, need it is this understanding.  More importantly, God's sovereign grace carries and leads us all.

I was amazed, again, and again, as Jacob gave credit to his partners far beyond his own contribution for their success in debate. If he couldn’t deflect the praise to his partners..he deflected it to the Lord. He considers all of his talents to be gifts given him by God for God to use for his own purposes.

Servant Leadership and Integrity

For Jacob, who I believe has been called more clearly than most to be a leader, integrity and humility are essential qualities.  Jacob has more than once demonstrated that he would rather speak the truth..than win a speech or debate contest. Would that our politicians and preachers would make this commitment.  Would that all of us would do so.

So, is Jacob perfect? Hardly! He has some pretty obvious faults since he is one of those ‘speak your mind’ type of guys. But by God’s grace, he has learned to do what is right, most of the time.  That’s called ‘growing up’.

I had always thought of practical things like creativity and academic skills…but when it’s time to say good-bye..we found ourselves more concerned with our children’s character. You can learn hobbies and skills..but character takes years of early training.

What are your goals as a parent? I’m sure I’ve left off plenty of good things! :o)

Linking with Raising Homemakers'  Homemaking Link Up
Tracie's Cottage Flora Thursday 

 I'm linking with these lovely ladies for tea time.....
 

Thanks so much for joining me! 

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