/ 6.8.11 / 32 Comments /

Good, Better, Best... A Time to Shift Gears...

 

Dear Sweet Friends...

This will be my last 'tea chat' for a while, I'm afraid.  And this post is difficult to write. No question about it.

Have you ever had a nagging feeling..that something was not quite right?

That even though, objectively speaking, what you were doing was good..or even wonderful...that it was still not quite what it should be?  I once heard a pastor say that if you and your husband don't have peace about a decision..then you shouldn't do it..until you DO have peace.  I agree 100%.

The only problem is that Hubby and I  never discussed blogging..it just 'happened'. I can't say that I've ever really had complete peace about it even though there were so many GREAT reasons to do it. I've ENJOYED it tremendously but I've always had second thoughts about the appropriateness of the time and energy at this stage of our lives as parents.

Friends have encouraged me not to give up too because my blog helps so many people.  If that is the case...then all I can say is that it's all God. And He should get the glory for that.   I think bloggers are some of the most giving and wonderful people in the world and I will never think differently about that.  You are amazing--really! 


The reasons I started blogging...to help others..has not changed at all. And it's the number one reason not to stop.  The reason that I need to quit is also completely compelling. Even though my blogging is good and the way I do it is better than it used to be..it is still not the BEST thing I should be doing with the given amount of time in my day.
 
 The heart of problem is not that blogging is 'bad'...it's that it has displaced things that truly are more my responsibility.  If there is any truth that has 'come home' to me in this last few months, it's that we all have too many demands on our time.


Each day is precious and we have the responsibility to live deliberately...those 24 hours have to be used very carefully.  For me, the season of life, I'm in...there is just an incredible amount of legitimate demand. We have downsized in so many ways..our schedule..our committments..everything!  Still...it is not enough because it's not just a matter of time but of focus.



This article says it best....

Good, Better, Best

byDallin H. Oaks




We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.

Most of us have more things expected of us than we can possibly do. As breadwinners, as parents, as Church workers and members, we face many choices on what we will do with our time and other resources.

I.We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.


I do think my problem is partly the amount of time it takes to be 'mom and dad' to five kids from ages 16-26...to teach them, counsel them, listen to them, train and be friends to them (including their spouses and our grandchildren).--It's HUGE.  And then, there are our parents..no time to visit..little time to chat.  My photos go straight to the blog..not to them.  How I regret this part. Blogging is only one of the many reasons I have failed to keep up with them.

What I've found is that most of my emotional 'energy'..
my creativity...and a lot of my 'best' goes to you.  

Perhaps it's just my personality type. I honestly don't know. :o)  I DO know that I've done my best to keep blogging in it's proper place. How it grieves me to see your kind thoughtful comments and know that I can't, in good conscience, go visit you..or haven't. Then perhaps you are wondering, "Do I care any more?"  Am I offended?   I know..I could post less and comment more. I've tried every strategy that I can think of.






But really..it's just too little ME spread too thinly. Life changes and the demands of life change.  You can only keep so many people and ideas and needs in your mind at one time.  Maybe I'm just getting older. (No..for SURE I'm getting older!--almost 50!)The bottom line is that for now...for this stage of life..I no longer have peace about blogging.  If I blog at all..I'm going to give it my best and do it as unto the Lord.  Somehow, I just can't find a 'middle ground'. 
This decision is not about lack of time....but of an improper focus of energy and emotion at this particular season of my life. It's not time to do it 'right now'.

So for now, I do apologize to all of you who haven't heard from me lately.  Caroline of Church Sexy..you are often on my mind..  Jill...Ky...Debby... Lorraine...Jaime...Deb...Cindy... Mickey, Rayanne, Gloria...  Shona... Trudy...Nana... Needled Mom..Kerrie...Claudia...Anita..Christi...Angela...Mary... honestly the list of wonderful women goes on and on and you are all so REAL and special to me.  I regret losing touch with the sweet ladies who used to comment and whom I've lost track of somehow over this last couple of years.  I've managed a quick visit to some of you..in particular Jaime, Amy, Gloria, and Maria...but even that has been superficial at best.  I hope we keep in touch some.  I hate mentioning names because I know I'm leaving someone off.

I can promise, that if you email..I'll write back. No question about that.   And I plan to leave the blog up, though I may be deleting some photos of the kids as I go back through the archives, just for safety's sake.  I do know, that through Google many people will find the practical help they need here. And that pleases me. :o)

I will be monitering any activity that goes on and if someone leaves a comment, I will try to get to them, especially if they ask a question.  I'll be glad to help you in anyway I can as time permits.

But for this season of life, I have to do what I believe to be right.  The whole family wholeheartedly confirmed that this is not the season for blogging.  One day, I hope to and even PLAN to return.  I can't think of a better way to spend 'retirement' than sharing all the Lord has taught me over the years as a wife, mother, and homeschooler.   


But for now, we will leave Comin' Home..in the Lord's hands and wait on HIS timing to continue.
Thank you all for your encouragement and for letting me know that my efforts have blessed you. Just know that YOU have blessed me too in a million ways!

I cried... quite a bit... when I finally faced squarely the reality of what had been simmering on the back burner of my mind and heart for so long. I didn't want to go. And I will miss you all very much. But I have to keep a clear conscience...and it hasn't been feeling very clear for a long time now.


Keep up the good work, bloggy friends! 
You are making a huge difference in our world!  

Perhaps we will meet again in a couple of years. :o) I've got two more years of teaching my youngest...and then..we will see. :o)

3Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. 4Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy,
 
5for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now.  

6And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

7So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, 
for you have a special place in my heart.


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32 comments:

claudia b said...

Dear Donna, as much as I will miss your gentle guidance, I know you have made this decision because it is what is best for you and your family. If it's not the right time, then it's not, ya know? I will (hopefully) still be here whenever you do come back!!! Take good care of yourself, you wonderful lady!! Claudia

Cindy said...

Dearest Donna I am feeling excactly what you are saying. And I so believe you must pray and if this is where God doesn't want you then you have to go with His decision.

My kids are gone from the house...there is no way I ever could of done this and still have my children home. It is hard enough with just the two of us...and the grand children around.

I am seeing a new avenue in my life also.Reason for limited blogging lately. We are moving into the 5th wheel in 2 weeks and living on our property...so we can keep the garden chickens and workshop. We were going to rent the house..I sent an email to the kids and told them...then the next day the ones in College Station called several times.S.O.S. they needed a place to live they were moving back here.So God is letting me let my house go of 26 years..but not to strangers but to my daughter and family...until we can get back on our feet. Praise God. Then today I get a phone call from Dad...please come to Canton and pack and sort thru 80 years of stuff they are ready to sale the house and downsize...aerghhhhh
emotions ran deep today now I am having to let 2 beloved homes go!!

So with this being said...I do understand...and KNOW you will always be on my friendship radar!!!!!We will meet each other someday!!

I will be praying for you and the family.!!

Hugs and squeezes from south Texas friend..Cindy Rick-Rack and Gingham

Gloria said...

Oh Donna...you will be missed but not forgotten. That's okay Donna. Don't feel bad about having to go. You will be back some time in the future when the timing is right. I won't say good bye because you are my amiga, but I will drop you a line, email or maybe even a snail mail from time to time. You take care of yourself and your family. God Bless You.

Debby said...

Hi Donna. Sorry that you are leaving us. You are an inspiration to all of us. If it doesn't feel right then you shouldn't blog. You will have peace in your mind when you know what is right for you. I have so enjoyed getting to know you. If you could please send me your email address. MY computer won't let me pull up emails. My email is grammypetals@yahoo.com .
You are so busy. Like Cindy said.....my kids are gone. I couldn't do this with them at home. It is therapudic to me.
I will continue to say prayers for your son. Please let me know when he gets home safely.
SO my friend, many ((((((HUGS)))) to you. You are a wonderful person.

Gloria said...

Oh I forgot to tell you that I probably won't be posting much at all either because I'm going to start commuting to San Jose to stay with my mom on and off. I may shut down my blog for a while. Just to let you know.

Kerrie said...

Donna, you are so brave! I understand completely and will be looking forward to your return even if it is not for years!! So much can happen in 1 year though, that circumstances may change to allow you more time for all you have on your plate. I will pray so. Wishing you every good thing in the future, but mostly peace. Luv and hugs, Kerrie

Noemi said...

Sorry you are leaving, but don't get upset about it. Although you will be missed in blog land you will be welcome where you should really be, with your family.
A huge thank you for everything you have shared with all of us and may God help you and gide you with everything you have to do.
I am a wife, a mum, and as my health is not the best, everything I do it takes twice as longer, and I also have to place blogging in the right place as it very time consuming and very mind consumming.
A big hug,
Noemí

Antiques And Teacups said...

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge His Lordship and He will direct your path".

If you feel that's what He is asking you to do in the still small voice, go for it! It's the best of the good for you in this season of your life. God bless you and your family, as I am sure He does and will do.
Ruth

Natasha in Oz said...

My dear friend, Donna.

It really made feel quite sad to read this but you know that I have been in this very same place too. It took me a while to realise that blogging was consuming me too much and that I was spending too much time on it. I think you are making a good decision about leaving the blog up though, because after a break you might want to come back to it, even if you only post once a week. I seem to be posting 3 times a week and one of them is just a wordless Wednesday post. I have just started a new weekly linky party as I've changed Sunday Song a bit but that is because I seem to do less blogging during the week.

We will miss your home-making advice and faith guidance but please know that you have done so much good for so many people! It truly is an honour to know you.

Take care and enjoy life!

Blessings and best wishes always,
Natasha.

Donna said...

Thanks Natasha..I was thinking of you too..just as I pushed the 'publish' button. :o) I know you have been through this process too. :o)

Thanks everyone! You all have such good input and I DO appreciate your friendship and support more than I can say.

xo
Donna

Donna said...

Claudia..Thanks so much. I knew I forgot someone..and you have visited so much. :o)

xo

Donna said...

PS. Matthew is out of danger! I can't say much as we are supposed to on the web. But he isn't where he was and is in the process of coming home. :) It's wonderful!

Deb said...

Oh, Ms. Donna....what a precious post this is. We've gotten to know each other's heart thru blogging and I know that this is a difficult decision for you...but I do agree that family comes first. The thought crossed my mind in just the past few days that I might quit blogging every day, and just maybe 3-4 times a week...but like you, I'm leaving that in God's hands. I do look forward to "Comin' Home" popping up in my Inbox, and I stop by and read, but don't always comment, and I apologize for that. Take care...love you...and know that you will be missed...but you're not that far away...I can still "talk" to you on FB!!! God has blessed me with some of the sweetest blogging friends, and you are at the top!!!

Beautifully Veiled said...

Donna,
I think you just said what I've been feeling for months now. I've just sort of stayed away from it all. And tonight I got on and saw this. Very sweet. I needed to read it. And so happy to hear about Matthew.
Many, Many blessings,
Linda

Donna said...

Beautifully Veiled..how often I've thought of you. You were one of my very first visitors. We are more like-minded than you know

xo
Donna

Donna said...

Kerrie..we are two peas in a pod. I have enjoyed so much your friendship this last few months.

Gloria..we ARE amigas! I have your book..your prints..and your soap. That's pretty serious..right? LoL!

Donna said...

cindy..I'll get my address to you ASAP. Debby..I'll never forget that you have my dear grandmother's quilt wall hanging. I'm so glad such a sweet lady is caring for it.

Hugs to you both! And thanks for naming a chicken after me. :o) What an honor!

Ama x three said...

I will miss your posts, Donna, but I totally understand your need to concentrate on family at this point in time. Blogging is a huge commitment and very time consuming. Take care of yourself and keep in touch. I look forward to your return.
Love you,
AJ

Donna said...

Aunt Joan, You are one of my favorite readers. :o) You know me better than many...as my favorite aunt. Thanks for your support and encouragement. We can always keep in touch via facebook. :o)

Love,
Donna

Needled Mom said...

I know that we all understand from where you are coming, Donna. I know it is a tough decision to give up the blog, but you know what is necessary. I will miss reading your wonderful posts. I have never figured out how you had the time to write such a gorgeous one!!!!! I hope that you will jot a few words every now and then to keep the blog "alive."

I will continue to keep your son and your family in my prayers.

Beth said...

To everything there is a season.... You have developed skills doing this blog that will be helpful in the future. Blessings to you as you follow the Lord's leading.

nanasknoll said...

I totally understand and since I am 61 I know that there will be a time you will have more time to yourself for blogging.
I will miss you, but know you have to do what the Lord is leading you to do at this time in your life.

Donna said...

Hey ladies..I THINK I've found a middle road. I'm going to try just ONE photo and a few thoughts now and then on Comin' Home's facebook page.

That way there's no schedule..and no pressure. Just pop something up when I have a few minutes.

We'll see.

Thank you ladies!

Anita Junttila said...

Donna, you are an inspiration. My younger sister and I were talking about our husbands and what it takes to be 'happily' married and we talked about your blog and all that you say about marriage. It was as if you were right there with us! I will miss you! I'm thrilled you will still post every once in a while on facebook so we won't go cold turkey. And you are leaving your blog up. I have gone to your blog a few times looking for guidance on parenting, marriage and home making. xo

Amy said...

Bless your heart. I know this must be a hard decision. I respect your earnestness and openness to do the BEST with the time and gifts God allows. Hope to stay in touch dear lady. . . Blessings and Joy as you shine His Light wherever you are.

Donna said...

Anita..Thank you. :o) As you know, parenting and marriage take a lot of work..because they involve people...and most of us aren't perfect..especially me. LoL! I will miss you too..but it isn't forever.

Thanks a bunch Amy! Your blog is an inspiration. I've really enjoyed getting to know you.

xo
Donna

Anonymous said...

Dear Donna, I will so miss your posts. They were like receiving notes from a friend. I wish you the best wherever God takes you. I so understand that blogging takes a lot of time and if you and your family feel you should serve elsewhere, you definitely should listen. But selfishly on my part, I will miss reading your words of inspiration.

All the best,
Monique

Joy @ Joy Of Desserts said...

Totally understand. You will be missed, but your family must come first. Blessings to you and yours. :-)

Donna said...

Thank you Monique. BTW, girls, you can see facebook posts (on my sidebar) and click on them if you want to see what's up. You don't have to be on Facebook to access them.

Just shared an expense tracker I made for our family today.

Micupoftea~ said...

Makes perfect sense...enjoy time with family!

Maria Killam said...

Maybe they could be short. Deliberately one photo with a glimpse into how you are doing? You'll be missed Donna, I love your authentic, sweet and shining personality!
xoxo
maria

Donna said...

I'm thinking this idea through actually..trying it out on Facebook...for practice. This might be a good option.

Praying!! Thanks Maria!

xo
Donna

“There's nothing half so pleasant as coming home again.” ~ Margaret Sangster
Welcome to Comin' Home! If you lived nearby, I'd invite you over to my neck of the woods for a nice long chat and a cup of tea out on the deck. But since we can't do that, I hope you'll stay and look around. I love learning new things and sharing what I learn with friends. Comin' Home is where I share tips from my many projects. Let's have some fun together! XO Donna

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