/ 29.7.13 / No comments /
Alone with God
6 My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. 7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.Jeremiah 25:6,7
I was reading this out on the deck this morning.. the first morning home but without my hubby. It’s his 50th birthday.. and I had hoped to do something special with him. It was hard saying good-bye last night.
I can’t help but remember when I broke my wrist last year.. and then Tim got the wonderful job but had to move away.. and the kids moved out to their new homes.. and it was just me and my 18yr old son for seven months—hubby only coming home on weekends.
The Lord wanted me to turn my heart to him in my trial of aloneness and instead I turned to the world.. to a game and an online community. I didn’t intend to. It was a family game and we chose to meet online during the seperation. Sadly, I used an earthly means to meet my needs instead of turning to the Lord in my loneliness.
It didn’t work and you can read about it in this post.. the amazing miracle God did to bring me out of it. Sadly, I told no one until this February when the Lord answered my plea to help me. He had been working on me through January.. but Feb. 5th was emancipation day for me.
This morning I sat on the deck, looking out at the amazing green of our forest, listening to the myriad of sounds of nature surrounding me, feeling the gentle breezes of an early morning in the woods, and marveling at God’s grace..and just worshiping Him.
I told him, "Thank you Lord for these broken feet. For giving me a 2nd chance to this time..turn to you. This time, through the amazing grace of your Holy Spirit enabling me, I won’t fall apart.. and cry through every weekend of hello and good-bye.
This time I will embrace the chance to be ‘alone with you’ and even rejoice in it. This time I will turn my ears to you and my heart and learn the lessons you tried to teach me a year and a half ago."
Really .. we aren’t alone .. it’s just we’re alone with Him.
The context of these verses in Jeremiah is that the Lord commanded the disobedient children of Israel to surrender to the Chaldeans.. as he had decided this was for their ‘best’ and for their good. In the vision of the good and bad figs, one group submitted to the Lord’s disipline.. and the temporary captivity.. and the other refused to leave their stronghold.. .. they were the bad figs. Unwillling to give up their ‘safety’ and really pride and position, the Lord set his face against them.
How I have embraced the Lord’s call to be alone for the next few weeks.. and am so grateful that is the work of His holy spirit in me.
During this ‘alone’ time I know he will build me up and plant me and cause me to love Him even more. Surrendering whole-heartedly to His will for me.. and praying for grace for my family as they ‘cover’ for me.
Praying the Lord will keep me focused on Him and not the circumstances.. for his GLORY.. and not mine. Last year, you got to see the evidence of how ‘Donna’ handles crisis like being alone. So don’t think for one minute that ‘I’ did anything.
The 'real me' blew it big time and always will. It is only in seeking the Lord and God’s amazing grace that we walk in the spirit during trials rather than walk in my own strength. I do hope my story will help anyone who is struggling in a similar way.
Now that I will be sewing more and sitting more, I have a feeling I'll have a bit more time too and perhaps can take up regular posting again. It'd be nice to stay in touch with all of you more regularly. We have finished a 60 hour round trip visit to the kids and grandkids, I've done a lot of wedding sewing, and have plenty of time for tea with you!
Blessing to each of you,